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The Wordcraft Blog Letter #1

Something different

It’s my blog and I do what I want to.

A Blog Letter

And why the hell not? It’s my blog, my domain, so I can make use of it the way I like it. Cutting the middle man to get people to sign up for a newsletter sounds like a pretty good idea to me. Surely clicking the “Follow” button is pretty much the same than to sign up for information? And no interface is needed. Pretty cool, right? Why complicate what is simple?

I can publish dedicated posts, or I can post generic ones: the blog letter. Associated with the delivery format, where you actually get the blog post alert delivered to your email, it brings out the idea of the newsletter which then becomes a post when you view it through the browser. This is a relatively new concept, and I like it.

And a very down to Earth view

My idea of the world around me is a very generalistic one. Being aware of all concepts and how these concepts apply to our real world comes easy to me. I can get a quick gist of any topics thrown at me, and am confident that I’m capable to dig in and understand it in more depth but it bores me, especially if it’s a subject that I’m not very fond of, which is pretty much anything to do with numbers. :D.

I have a good understanding of all social, political and financial affairs, enough to get me through the system able to gauge the good and the written about society, but I don’t debate it. I also understand everyone comes from different walks of life and our perception of this world will differ, as a result. And that’s fine. Maybe I was brought up under a very Stoic education, but I’m very sure this obliviousness can also be acquired with maturity. It just helps me move on, despite the illogical sense of a situation that I cannot change. Levelling up in understanding, I like to think.

Minding my business

(Click on the images for the whole post)

#life

The last mile

The closer we are to the reality of having our own house the farther away it feels we are. Living in a rented accommodation limits our possibilities, therefore it forcefully narrows your vision. Because it’s not our house we cannot make any structural, long-lasting changes that we believe would be life-changing changes. Most landlords themselves don’t make changes for the same reasons: “If it ain’t broken, don’t fix it”. The money goes in their pot regardless.

#family

They agree to disagree

They have a main PC – which has been literally PUT TOGETHER by Gary – because he’s a legend of a nerd and managed to tailor it to meet their gaming requirements – and laptops. They are also lucky enough to each have their own tablets AND phones. Last Christmas, we got them a Nintendo Switch. So much entertainment to choose from yet they still manage to disagree.

#food

My 5 Cheese Pizza

The pizza that we used to ask for at our old fave local, the Cookhouse. It was either that or their amazing Tex-Mex. Lush! You can make it using white flour too, like the originals. I just chose to try the wholemeal flour to start introducing healthier options, and it’s working. Everybody seems to be enjoying and not complaining.

#goals

Living on the edge… of the white noise

I’m reading an article on my computer. It’s interesting. I don’t really want to be interrupted. I get a message notification on my screen. “Oh, it’s just my mum, trying to find out if Charlotte has gone to school today… I’ll answer it later. “ Whilst I close the notification, in the back of my mind, that message will be playing on repeat, along with other voices. I wanted to let her know she went, that everything is ok. I could do that at that moment, but if she’s online, that message is going to become a chat, and potentially turn into a video one. And that will drill into my time.

If I mind yours

and you have a hair salon…

Whether it is because the hairdresser meets your hairstyling criteria or – it has happened to me before – because you know the hairdresser personally or he/she’s a nice person and makes a real effort in reaching that so desired hairstyle, we all go at one time or another. Ultimately…

Next: Landscaping Services

Everything happens for a reason

Do you believe in fate/destiny?

I believe there is a set time for events to occur. And they only occur when we’re ready. Whether that is meeting someone, choosing a path or just waiting. The premise that there are things we cannot control plays an prominent role in that. It’s hard to believe because it makes life easy, and the belief that life must be hard to be worth it is deeply enrooted in humankind. Life can be easy, we just need it to take its natural course.

The freedom I knew was gone forever

Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.

2004. I said “I do” when deep inside I didn’t want it. I read the small print and I did it anyway. I had been made to shrink and felt embarrassed to go back. I’d be showing weakness, lack of character, admitting defeat.

What I really wanted was to be left alone. I felt used. And took it all as a sign, as my mission, to change someone that wasn’t yet ready to change. In that process I lost myself. I was scared so I became nul.

The freedom I knew was gone forever and I can never get it back. My spark, my joy, my self-esteem, my life, gone.

I did find freedom again, but it looks different. Possibilities feel diminished, different, less flexible. Time did not stop. It waits for no one. It’s impossible to catch up. Time is unforgiving. Maybe next time.

Menopausal Monday #15

#grief #greed #childabuse #currentstateofaffairs #nobodysgirl

Once again a belated Monday post. I have been digesting the current rough events and dealing with some parenting matters too. Unfortunately, this full-time employed mother and housewife gig does not have scheduled spare time, so it’s hard to show up when the blog is no more than a therapy exercise.

Prompted by the recent news, I decided to purchase Virginia Giuffre’s book. Whilst most base moral values may feel like a result of self-learnt common sense, at a deeper analysis these can unveil unpleasant truths that result from human behaviour. I did recently addressed this topic, it’s impossible not to.

I feel like we are currently assisting a frequency or energy re-alignment at a global level. You might find this far-fetched the concept, the one of a universal conscious, but I find it makes a lot of sense and the way I see it, the current world events could be deemed critical in human development at the same level as a previous World War.

All of these red flags popping out in the last decade (ie Michael Jackson, Abercrombie & Fitch, The Wayfair rumours, P. Diddy, Epstein …) as if popped out to warn us about how far humankind is drifting from moral values, receding in our evolution. This sequence of events have been coming up, slowly but surely – especially now with the latest release of files to the public disclosing an absolutely disturbing network of people and information trafficking to achieve ruthless, unscrupulous objectives, which is still not quite clear what it it. This release seems to only be the tip of thread into this dark world. This feels like it may be meant to calibrate humankind’s moral compass. It is an uncomfortable but necessary process, following the grieving over the recent paralysing revelations.

I don’t know about you, but for me one thing is when we watch the case of one small to medium network being brought down by authorities. We like to think that was it, nd that it’s been dealt with. And that makes us feel safe, at least for a while. Or until they uncover the next one, but at least this gives us some sense of public safety.

With the Epstein case files release, there seems to be so much unknown information that is now so open to speculation and conspiracy theories. Each released and debated file across the media is just causing fear on learning what could soon come out and how creepy it will be. This current uncertainty is leading to a lost of trust and credibility in public authorities, which were put in place to protect us. That is how I currently feel. Are our children safe out on their own? What measures do we need to arm them with to evade these predatorial schemes? Is law still a thing?

What we know is that, despite the nefarious effects of social media and all the sensationalism that comes with it on our youth, it has been thanks to it that serious matters like these come to light in and gain strength. I strongly believe that these baddies will always be outnumbered, and that good will prevail. Imoral and unethical behaviour cannot become the norm. This is not a faithful example of humankind. Follow the True North. I’ll meet you there.

Negative headlines and the importance of self-preservation

I feel like all the current negative news, the ongoing disclosure of the existence of a whole dark underground network is starting to divide humankind and forcing us all to take a side. Something big is coming, it’s just hard to see what and how all this is going to evolve into. These are scary and uncertain times we’re living. It is stomach churning to think that there are groups of people that use their power and influence to harm others for their own benefit. It’s disheartening to be left in the perception that there is so much we cannot control. It’s truly unsettling. So unsettling that I’m unsure if a WW3 would not be better…

Reading a Psychology Today article I decided to have little chat with my 14 year-old about how much he knows about the Epstein files, what it means and if he has any questions or concerns. He seems to grasp what is going on and the chat reassured me that his heart is in the right place. He did expressed a concern about “the higher up”, he called them, the people that hold positions of power. How can we not? I mean, how to be confident enough to offer them guarantees that we are safe and that no harm can come to them? All we can do is to be there for them when they need us, to guide them the best we can so that they reflect the values, principles of what is right. And hope that they will make the right decisions for them and by those around them. My fairness sense has always been very strong. I had doubts throughout my life, but I’ve always made the decision that felt right every time, the choice not to hurt others and avoiding conflict are at my very top. There is an old Portuguese proverb that says that “from the discussion comes the light”. That really denotes the Portuguese peaceful, laid back and welcoming culture. Blood runs thick, and I strongly believe both my children have that deep desire for good and peace in them.

At the end I told him the best thing he can do is to always do the right thing, even if that came at a personal cost, provided it is reasonable. Self-preservation during these current times is very important. It’s uncomfortable to observe events as the ones we’ve been observing, but that also puts our values to the test, and forces us to put our current views into perspective. It’s important to acknowledge that negativity is real, make our own judgement and then distance ourselves from it, to allow ourselves to delve only deep enough to recognise (not doubt) our true nature, and not to get involved and dragged into the all the surrounding toxicity. It is essential that we can see clearly at all times, no matter what. More than ever now it is paramount to ensure we remain true to ourselves, for a better world. We’ll get through this stronger, together.

Menopausal Monday #14

#familymatters #britishcaravanholiday

Today I woke up in Kessingland, in Suffolk, by the beach. We’re going back home after a four days’ caravan family holiday. Holidays the British way. Falling asleep to the wind and crackling of the metal underneath, and waking up to pouring rain or to the sea gulls claws promenading above.

In Portugal, static caravan holidays is not really a thing, only the mobile ones. We’d rather be on the move. It is an interesting concept though. And as we casually discussed this, me and Gazza, it is probably because the hot weather would not really help in their maintenance. You can repair metal from cold-related damage, not so much in the heat. They would probably be extremely expensive to maintain…

  • Kessingland Beach
  • Labyrinth
  • Classic Monopoly
  • Bored Bonnie
  • Uno
  • Bunnies
  • Bunny-hunting Bonnie
  • Arcade

Our Bonnie girl was ecstatic. There were rabbits coming out of holes all across the park! She was going absolutely mental! We were in serious Wallace & Gromit need! 🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇

This third time and even if it is a bit forced to start with, we’ve always found it to be good bonding time. But nowadays, we have to force it to ensure it happens. The kids tend to make out that they no longer find these holidays as fun as when they were little, but I find that the hardest part is getting us out the door, and once we’re moving the engagement will be unavoidable.

This does sometimes means having uncomfortable conversations, which our busy daily lives push away and postpone, and this is the perfect down time, where those crucial opportunities present themselves. And we must take them, as they come in the family holiday package.

Family time is important, perhaps even more in current times. It may not be the “influencers” fancy -looking family holiday abroad but the most important thing is that we are truly bonding, making actual, happy, AI-free memories, not just role-playing for clicks.

Menopausal Monday #13

#possiblerantalert

Ok, it WAS yesterday. But it is surely Monday somewhere on a parallel universe. As I grow further into menopause, I feel this working full time malarky is getting less bearable. I grow more tired of this routine and frustrated by what more pleasurable things I could be doing with my time. (Bloody bills that need to be paid.

They are Mondays after all: that dreaded, countdown starter, moody first days of our weeks. Monday is a also an office anchor day for me. And normally I don’t really mind it, but yesterday it felt heavy. Tried adding the post at lunch time but felt I had to keep a colleague company, she needed the shoulder. It is our duty must support our fellow sisters.

Looking forward to our British holiday trip to Kessingland this half term. Quality time with the family (I can only hope there won’t be any generational arguments). Only had two so far and they were quite enjoyable: Naze Marine (Essex) and Trecco Bay (Wales). Sometimes it is good to just stay away and have some down time away from home. A new atmosphere, new smells, a new landscape can be really revigorating. It will also be good to catch up with my personal emails, and with some reading (and writing). I think we all need that chilling time and it should keep me out of menopausal trouble until our next trip, to Portugal. Hopefully the storms will have passed by then. We booked the flights end of last year. I expect the trip to bring a mix of emotions. I am happy to spend time with my parents but will be sad to see the trail of destruction left everywhere by the recent array of natural catastrophes.

Last time I went was end of September was the first weekend of September last year, the fateful funicular accident in Lisbon, for my annual bestie get together. And although we did not go to Lisbon (only visited my parents, half an hour from there), I was still very sad to hear about it. I followed the news for at least a week everyday, until there was no new development, only speculation.

I was born in Lisbon, hovered around, worked and lived there for just over twenty years (as many as I’ve been in the UK for, funnily enough). So the news came as a bit of an emotional shock to me. The lives lost, the freaky way it happened and how uncontrollable events of this nature are. It could not have been avoided. But the regular mechanics maintenance should be deemed as good practise, for the lives it transported everyday. Common sense seems to be getting scarcer and scarcer…

Anyone’s ideal day

Describe your most ideal day from beginning to end.

I’d say my (and probably anyone’s ideal day) is realistically one where everything flows without friction. We all get these days, we just don’t tune in as deep and often as we’d like.

Those days where everyone agrees with you, says yes to your requests, people smile back and are polite.

Work feels fulfilling, our tasks make us feel connected with sone form of purpose that aligns with our views, values and ethics.

The roads are not busy, there are no jams and the traffic lights are green all the way to our end destination. Isn’t that it?

Subtitled dog walks

Admit it, you do it too. If you are a dog owner, you know what I mean. All those inevitable “in-dog-mode” thoughts that we have when we’re walking them. I do that every time. I mean it’s not already bad enough that we talk to them as if they’re toddlers, we actively try and get into their shoes during the walk.

When Bonnie stops to sniff, in my head I totally role-play her, imagining what she’ll be thinking: “Hummm… Rufus was here. Hold on, don’t pull me just yet! He left a message…” or when she spots another dog and she just stares and looks back as if she wanted to make friends (aka butt sniffing). Or when she lifts one of her front paws, as if she was sniffing a rather exquisite smell, in the same way as we see on those dog-talking movies, which I dilsike, funnily enough.

She is such an intelligent dog. she can truly communicate with us. She will throw her toy at us to show us she wants to play, and starts chucking it in the air and catching it. She will silently come and sit in front of you to ask you to take her for a walk, just by looking at you and then looking at her lead.Then gently puts her paw on our lap, as if out politeness she was saying “Please”.

She knows each of family members, their likes and dislikes and sometimes acts differently to each one, as if they had a different communication code.She’s an aboslute foodie and would eat pretty much anything we’d give her, you know: “If my pack eats it, it must be good.” We were so lucky with her, she has settled in really well. It’s been nearly three years we got her from RSPCA and she has been a really good dog. She’s not aggressive in any way, shape or form. Yes, she barks at the doors and strangers but that’s her job. Other than that, she’s able to stay for a whole day on her own, without wimpering or barking for missing us.

Yes, I hate having to pick all of the tumble-hair off the floor. Every.Single. Day. Twice a day, most days. But she has been a big support for the children’s mental health (and sometimes ours), knowing that she is there, even if just for a grounding 5 minute petting. Pretty sure you can take it as a mindfulness moment in this crazy world…

Menopausal Monday #12

#possiblerantalert

Outer thighs, inner thighs, the whole area seems to be screeming for (and I know how this is going to sound) continuous open-leg stretch. Starting to think an everyday end of day yoga session might help.

My biggest problem, and probably the biggest problem for most women is that the job requires being sat down all day long and (in our minds) for the sake of productivity, we don’t get up and move often enough. Yes, I get up half way through the morning to grab a cup of coffee, at lunch, and then mid afternoon, before finishing for the day. And that’s it. The rust sets in in our joints and we feel it.

Then those anchor days we work from the office we finish the day absolutely shattered, with the commute drive (especially if I have to drive at night). Not only we struggle with the stress of driving, but we still have to get through a whole eight hours’ work but we also have to be around people (God knows how taxing that can be…) . It’s a lot to take in. Sadly, Monday is an anchor day for me.

This is what menopause is all about, apparently… I absolutely agree with Shakira, my hips cannot lie. When it hurts, it hurts. But, there are good things. Dry January is now officially over😊

Social media profiling

We all do it. Even if subconsciously. Likes, follows and comments can tell a lot about an individual. Even the absence of interaction says something about a person.

Surely you’ve thought about it before. It happens when we put our contacts circle into categories.

  • “the Watchers”, they’re nosy, watch without engaging (you can also refer to them as “The Judgy”;
  • “the Teasers”, they only react, don’t comment;
  • “the Smarty Pants”, who like to put stir the pot, only comment once and then watch the argument escalate;
  • “the Annoyers”, they love to argue until they’re blue in the face to get nowhere;
  • “the Moaners”, they moan about everything, but don’t offer any constructive criticism;
  • “the Solvers” (or “FTFs, First-Time-Fix, as we class the ideal Customer Support”), they have a solution for anything;
  • “the Braggers”, who only share their big spendings, even if that only happens once a year;
  • “the Oversharers”…

The list can vary and could be shorter or longer. Surely you have similar ones, in your mind, and you are classing them as you scroll over posts. And many of these will also, around about Christmas, follow under another four categories: “To keep”, “Unfollow imminent”, “Unfollow” and “Unfriend”. Every time I go over it I find myself thinking: “Why do I till have someone I worked with 15 years ago in my circle? We don’t even interact. For all I know, they could have passed…” I’ll leave soaking a link with someone that gives a post or a comment a “like” 78 weeks since it was posted, if being disconnected from social media it’s their character trait. I mean, I do that. I think that’s a Gen X trait, to just not care about what other people think.

As a result, my contacts list has become half its size in the last decade. To be honest, interacting with like-minded people can be fun, and you don’t really have to know them, but belonging to the same generation can be the most common denominator.