Menopause apathy

I’m currently going through a phase where I am going through my daily motions as if on auto-pilot.

For a while now I feel like I’m only acting on prompts, only when my direct intervention is required. I no longer act by desire, by my own will. It’s like I’ve accomplished whatever I was meant to accomplish in my life. Yet I feel like I have achieved nothing.

The current wellbeing trends encourage us to be grateful for our little wins. I’m trying. I’ve got a reasonably paid job, a loving family, two beautiful children, a wonderful partner, a sweet dog and plans for retirement are underway.

But there’s something missing. Something I seem to have lost along the way and can’t seem to get it back, no matter what I do.

Some more mystical theories defend that we should go with with the Universal flow, that what’s meant to be will be, and that the fact that we don’t have defined objectives doesn’t mean there aren’t any already pre-designed, that we may be resting from something we went through in a past lifenor preparing for what’s coming in the next. I kinda like that thought. It removes the feeling of guilt for the lack of ambition, I guess…